I knew this would change everything but as I stood there transfixed, I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do but swallow the lump in my throat that seemed to be rising up and suffocating me like smoke from a over heated furnace. I was breaking into a cold sweat and tiny drops forming on my forehead and upper lip , unable to hold themselves up anymore were slowly making their way down.
“How could you?” His eyes seemed to ask. They still showed hurt, betrayal and years of living gone wrong.
I had no answers. How can you tell someone who seems to loves you to bits, who seems to worship the ground you walk on, who tries to take care of your every whim and fancy that you were leaving him? There was no logic behind my action. There was no reason. There was not even another man, whom he could confront and pour his rage on. This was a faceless, unadorned being that he could not even touch, let alone comprehend. It was a compelling urge that threatened to engulf and swallow me, unless I acted on it. It was pounding me relentlessly like a slave driver with a whip. It gnawed through every pore in my body, till it reached dimensions larger than life. I flowed along. I had no control, no will of my own. It possessed me, this force. It made me see things that others could only imagine after I had painted the pictures and shown them. “Haunting, breathtaking, a fresh perspective.” the Art critics had hailed.
Goaded by the first taste of success I had ventured in deeper. What I had not anticipated was the quicksand that sucked me in. I could not resist.
I could not look him in the eye. I had packed my clothes earlier and the lone suitcase stood like a faithful companion, beside the door that would take me, lead me.
I could not look at my sleeping children either.
As I walked out a strange sense of peace engulfed me, for the first time in years, like a placid lake without any boats. I laughed a shrill laugh that cut into the silence of the night.
Freedom too has a price, I thought, as a lone rat scurried away into a hole.
Close
Premsaran: Very true.Well analysed.Actually what i tried to suggest (the lone rat and the shrill laugh towards end of the story) was that hers was an obsession bordering on madness.
Reply | | Report Abuse
Path for freedom adopted is very good......Preferring to stay with him and children and experiencing hell as she would have felt and showing hell to other members of the family especially the children it is better to seek freedom But....is it worthwhile to seek such freedom by punishing the children if they are too young and need the Mother's support. Then the price of the freedom needs to be re-looked.......Any way it is her decison..........we can only analyse........
Prasad
Reply | | Report Abuse
Melody: thanks!! And thanks for that fabulous compliment too!
Reply | | Report Abuse
I understand her decision. Everything has a price, so does freedom. She was willing to pay the price for freedom.That's her choice, her decision. But was the freedom worth the price, only time can tell.
Very well written. The racy pace added to her urgency.
Regards
Melody
Reply | | Report Abuse
Fitshady: Thanks for that fabulous compliment!
Shailmohan: Thanks! Yes--sometimes it is only that individual who can understand the compulsion, I guess. How can we judge others till we walk in their shoes?
Svengali: Thanks! Yes--lot unsaid. you have cleverly seen it! BTW, I loved your psedonym (svengali)and mentioned it to my children.
Reply | | Report Abuse
Lots said, much more not...drawing the reader and leaving him/her at the end with questions. The story works, the message hits home...freedom comes at a price...but it is still freedom.
Beautiful.
Reply | | Report Abuse
Sometimes there is no logic or reason enough to satisfy others of a particualr action of an individual. The individual alone knows the compulsion of his/her action. Well narrated Preeti!
Reply | | Report Abuse
By not saying a lot, you are saying a lot. You are sparking a series of flashes of imagination in me. Is it intentional or rhetoric, I wonder. Anyway, creative as in your other blogs.
Reply | | Report Abuse
Meanders: Who knows! Like I said earlier, a lot of things are unsaid in the story.Maybe her husband was an obsessive complusive personality and she found his misplaced love stifling.Maybe her children are teenagers and think of her as an old cow. May be she is free! Thanks!
Mallipooh: Thanks!!Wishing you the same.I loved your name by the way!(love the smell of Jasmines)
Vidya: thanks!!! Are you in India or back to US?
Reply | | Report Abuse
Vety: yes--Realised that later.Shall work on it! Thanks!!
Neha: Yes i agree with you totally there. It is only the individual who has to decide what is right or wrong for themselves.Thanks for the comment!
Random :True--To each his own!!
Reply | | Report Abuse
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
Displaying 1 - 10 of 39 Blog Comments